Iris
I know there’s a lot going on in the title but this is what headlines around the world have been screaming this week. First things first, irascible, razor-tongued chef Gordon Ramsay has a twin. Well, not exactly–Percy Foster is not a blood relation–he’s a lookalike. And he’s a dwarf. Oh yeah, and a porn star. At 3’6″, the diminutive 35 year-old Foster bore a striking resemblance to the real deal and, according to reports, was quite popular at…ahem…plying his trade.
The Sunday Sport, a British tabloid, first drew the correlation between Ramsay’s and Foster’s resemblance and predicted that the pint-sized porn star’s career was going to skyrocket as a result. A week later, the tabloid reported that the body of Percy Foster had been found mauled to death in a badger’s den. Yes, you read that correctly. A sex-worker dwarf was eaten by ravenous badgers (at least it wasn’t beavers). I’ll pause and let that sink in for a moment. Before you start berating yourself for laughing at Foster’s unfortunate demise, you should know that various media outlets are now reporting that the death story is a sham.
Percy Foster does exist and he is, indeed, a dwarf; however, there is no proof that he’s a porn star or that he ended up being a badger’s breakfast. Regardless of the facts, I can’t get over how much these two look alike–creepy, right? I smell a Hollywood remake of “Twins”–these two would be way funnier than DeVito and Schwarzenegger.
You CAN make this stuff up, because that’s exactly what someone did. This story first appeared on a satirical site, then spread to tabloids from there.